Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.50.Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.51.I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. It's the old American Double Standard, ya know: Say one thing, do somethin' different. If it makes you feel better, fine. If youre born in America you get a front row seat.23.Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.24.I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. It is time to party! George Carlinis well known for his profoundly funny and provocative quotes and one-liners. "George Carlin (1937-2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career". 2."Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain. George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) - Goodreads Commentdocument.getElementById("comment").setAttribute("id","ad25fff6afc452fed4d50cd58278ff8c");document.getElementById("i20ae56af4").setAttribute("id","comment"); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. Happy Birthday! Related Topics. "Brain Droppings", Hyperion. I hate groups of people. One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like. Yippee your birthday is finally here. The 50 Most Encouraging Virgil Abloh Quotes, The 51 Most Memorable Angela Davis Quotes, 25 Motivational Tim Tebow Quotes Every Sports Fan Can Relate To, 123 Meaningful Deep Quotes About Life To Supercharge Your Life, The 50 Most Uplifting Personal Growth Quotes. They should be more vivid. "In America, anyone can become president. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. Book by George Carlin, 2004. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote George Carlin Birthday Quotes & Sayings - Search Quotes If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. And apparently, Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.25.Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.26.Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?27.How is it possible to have a civil war?28.War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower-class men off to die.29.Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.30.Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. If you have quotes you would like us to cover, please contact us. However, he is mostly known for his dark comedy that sheds light on a variety of subjects like politics, psychology, taboo subjects, religion and the English language. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. 500 matching entries found. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next door playing pinball. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another. - George Carlin. Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics. They should be giving their money to you.39.I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. "George Carlin: You Are All Diseased". George Carlin (2015). [CDATA[ 125 George Carlin Quotes. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. On War - Top 10 George Carlin Quotes - TIME People are wonderful. Every day we present the best quotes! We're coming for you! Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time, George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other taboo subjects. The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done. George Carlin 60th Birthday Jokes - Search Quotes Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? Selfish, Leader, Ignorant. Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. You must have a lot of stories to tell. May you have a delicious and partylicious birthday! A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality - and it's not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing - it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. Below are the absolute best quotes we could find from this legendary comedian's career. What does it mean to pre-board? Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them.". Booth Tarkington. When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse. Hope your year is better than those ears! When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. George Carlin Happy Birthday Quotes. 2013 likes. If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him. I will never be able to forget the support that you have given me. "Don't just teach your children to read. Ally Carter. . Famous Birthday Quotes From the Famous - ThoughtCo We've been here, what, a 100,000 years, maybe 200,000. Afterward he met with 100 donors, not campaign donors, heart donors. Share with your friends. Showing search results for "George Carlin Birthday" sorted by relevance.