The people left of center were liberals; the people right of center were conservatives. 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think! That's what I say. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. This is the best we can do folks. Religion is nothing but mind control. What are your favorite George Carlin quotes? Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. I wish to be BLOWN UP. Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, are a number of writings attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine. Theyre all in favor of the unborn. The 5 By 5 Rule To Reduce Stress, Anxiety And Worry, The 5 Minute Rule Become Emotionally Invincible, The Curse Of Knowledge: How To Avoid Sabotaging Your Success, Fear-setting: Why you should define your fears instead of your goals, Top 5 Lessons Learned After She Read 500 Self-Help Books, Revealed: How 50 Cent Made Millions With Vitamin Water, Top 10 Business Tips From Billionaire Carlos Slim Hel, 69 Larry Page Quotes To Be A Successful Entrepreneur, 49 Successful Millionaire And Billionaire College Dropouts, Rocky Balboa Motivational Speech By Sylvester Stallone, Walt Disney Was Fired & Rejected 300 Times Failure To Success, Limiting Beliefs: How To Identify And Overcome Them, 77 Frank Zappa Quotes On Life, Government & Music, 101 Vince Lombardi Quotes To Win The Game Of Life, 78 Abraham Maslow Quotes To Max Out Your Potential, 37 Rosa Parks Quotes To Stand Up For Your Freedom, 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life, 31 NoFap Benefits That Will Change Your Life, How Complaining Physically Rewires Your Brain For Negativity, Anxiety & Depression, 11 Simple Self-Esteem Boosters That Will Change Your Life, I Am Enough A Simple Habit That Will Change Your Life, 15 Reasons Why You Should Stop Watching Porn. His insights on the world of politics were always keen and often quite funny. Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation.You have no choice. We had great gifts, and we gave it all up for both money and God We gave it all up to superstition, primitive superstition, primitive shit Invisible man in the sky, looking down, keeping track of what we do, make sure we don't do the wrong thing, if we do, he puts us in hell, where we burn forever. [] I look at war a little bit differently. You never hear them say Jesus made me drop the ball. The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage. According to these guys Jesus is undefeated, meanwhile these assholes are in last place. If two baseball players from the same hometown, on different teams, receive the same uniform number, it is not ironic. It's a subconscious need to project the penis into other people's affairs. I'd like to begin by saying fuck Lance Armstrong. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary, it's our way of saying thank you. I'm the Founder of SucceedFeed.com and I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and being apart of the Succeed Feed community. And that's fine. From a distance so I can see it all. And now they're coming for your Social Security money. No nothing. You know, why should it be illegal to sell something thats perfectly legal to give away? God? And the sad part is, is that most people seem to have been indoctrinated to believe that bullshit only comes from certain places, certain sources: advertising, politics, salesmen not true. Anal rape, quicksand, body lice, evil spirits, gridlock, acid rain, continental drift, labor violence, flash floods, rabies, torture, bad luck, calcium deficiency, falling rocks, cattle stampedes, bank failure, evil neighbors, killer bees, organ rejection, lynching, toxic waste, unstable dynamite, religious fanatics, prickly heat, price fixing, moral decay, hotel fires, loss of face, stink bombs, bubonic plague, neo-Nazis, friction, cereal weevils, failure of will, chain reaction, soil erosion, mail fraud, dry rot, voodoo curse, broken glass, snake bite, parasites, white slavery, public ridicule, faithless friends, random violence, breach of contract, family scandals, charlatans, transverse myelitis, structural defects, race riots, sunspots, rogue elephants, wax buildup, killer frost, jealous coworkers, root canals, metal fatigue, corporal punishment, sneak attacks, peer pressure, vigilantes, birth defects, false advertising, ungrateful children, financial ruin, mildew, loss of privileges, bad drugs, ill-fitting shoes, widespread chaos, Lou Gehrig's disease, stray bullets, runaway trains, chemical spills, locusts, airline food, shipwrecks, prowlers, bathtub accidents, faulty merchandise, terrorism, discrimination, wrongful cremation, carbon deposits, beef tapeworm, taxation without representation, escaped maniacs, sunburn, abandonment, threatening letters, entropy, nine-mile fever, poor workmanship, absentee landlords, solitary confinement, depletion of the ozone layer, unworthiness, intestinal bleeding, defrocked priests, loss of equilibrium, disgruntled employees, global warming, card sharks, poisoned meat, nuclear accidents, broken promises, contamination of the water supply, obscene phone calls, nuclear winter, wayward girls, mutual assured destruction, rampaging moose, the greenhouse effect, cluster headaches, social isolation, Dutch elm disease, the contraction of the universe, paper cuts, eternal damnation, the wrath of God, and. You know the best thing about necrophilia? Of all the things you can do, giving someone an orgasm is hardly the worst thing in the world. So about 80 years after the Constitution is ratified, the slaves are freed. The people are fucked! George Carlin, 80. Maybe a little Styrofoam. The people are fucked! Quote by George Carlin: "Forget the politicians. The politicians are "Pre-existing", "pre-planning", "pre-screening" you know what I tell these people? Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. It sounds like this: "What, they have bigger dicks? When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. You have no choice. Selling is legal. George Carlin: Jammin' in New York (1992) - Quotes - IMDb Tell the judge the truth. They don't trust one another. Youll never see the black guys going, Oh, golly! Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality and its not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. George Carlin, 68. I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, 41. Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. George Carlin - Wikispooks Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it because youve lost your identity because you now owe your allegiance to this thing thats bigger than you are and that controls you. George Carlin, 71. Thats all weve ever had in this country, is a bill of temporary privileges. You can say what you want about this country, and I love this place. Its disgusting, man. If black boxes survive air crashes why dont they make the whole plane out of that stuff? George Carlin, 55. It's like watching flies fuck! The Divine Plan. You might get there on time, but, screw the company, those first twenty minute belong to you, right? Term limits ain't going to do any good; you're just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. These are the same people who were elected with the help of the moral majority. 4. I believe the government should step in where the free market fails. That's my motto. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. If you live on this planet, you're guilty, period, fuck you, end of report, next case. And generally speaking again it's all generalized the left-of-center people are more concerned with humans and human beings and human concerns; to the care of humans, not the care and worry about property rights. 01. This is an outmoded idea. But if he starts that smart-ass fly shit, buzzing my head and repeatedly landing on my arm, he is engaging in high-risk behavior. 51 Genius Quotes That Prove George Carlin Was A Modern Philosopher You know what the motto of this country ought to be? If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. ""You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? 1. Required fields are marked *. Let's kill a beautiful tree that's been alive for seventy-five years and bring it to New York City. A man with only one lip. And just dumb enough to passively accept it., The government doesnt lie, it engages in disinformation., Im a loyal American and Im not happy unless I let the government and industry poison me a little bit every day., Government wants to control information and control language because thats the way you control thought, and basically thats the game theyre in., Bullshit is the glue that binds us as a nation., I believe the government should step in where the free market fails., Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them., A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does.. It's supposed to imply thoughtfulness or intelligence. I call it the American Okie Doke. Nothing sacred about those things. Tell him you've been coming there for 10 years and none of your wishes have come true. Change His plan? I distinguish between maniacs and crazy people; a maniac will beat nine people to death with a steel dildo. It creates a hostile work environment." When did this happen; that we passed chickens in goodness? The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. George Carlin, 87. It's true! Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Hansel and Gretel discovered the ginger bread house about 45 minutes after they discovered the mushrooms. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. Who cares? If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, 11. I dont understand why prostitution is illegal. I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. OK? That's generally been true. A man in a hospital gown directing traffic. Am I missing something? I love that. Really. Didn't need any help on that ladder. That's all it is. So I say live and let live. Nothing sacred about those things. The planet is fine. They keep the lower and the middle classes fighting with each other so that they, the rich, can run off with all the fucking money! They will do anything for the unborn. We are the proud parents of a child who has resisted his teachers' attempts to break his spirit and bend him to the will of his corporate masters. 'Cause that's all you ever hear about in this country. But where do people think these politicians come from? The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, 17. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. Thats what all that adolescent, macho, male posturing and strutting in bars and locker rooms is all about. Selling is legal. Otherwise it doesn't really work, does it? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that shit. Next fucking case! Maybe evenremember them? I wouldn't be surprised if they came up with a birth control pill that doesn't work all the time; they'd call it "Baby Maybe"! (12), We're not satisfied with forcing Russia to destroy its nuclear weapons and recant its ideology. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. George Carlin, 79. "All of you over here, you seven? In this blog post, well take a look at some of Carlins most famous quotes on government. Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin, 27. And sometimes it rains. Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. If you take five white guys and put em with five black guys, and let em hang around together for about a month, and at the end of the month, youll notice that the white guys are walking and talking and standing like the black guys do. No. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. And you might have noticed something else. I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another. George Carlin, 69. If Darryl Stingley's son paralyzes someone else, that will be closer to ironic. To me, no person is a better example of that than George Carlin, a savage satirist and brilliant thinker who was just as much of a writer and a philosopher as he was a comedian.
Usta Tennessee State Championships 2022,
Taurus Woman Pisces Man Love At First Sight,
Articles G