My son is 16 and his girlfriend is 17. She pretends to be having no issue to me at times but I am concerned that this will have a negative impact on our relationship with her (mother) once we get married. And since I had not ever met her, she would reply to my son and my private conversations PUBLICLY on social media (repeatedly). Her mother sees your disapproval as meddling and controlling your son's life. I find it useful,I have four son one came home with a girl who will never say hi to me when he first start'ed going out with her, I always said hi some time she will just be looking at me, and my son will be there when she is doing this,this is my first son, now my #2 son will tel his girlfriend not to talk to me when he has problem with me even now he send his graduation invitation to his girl friend and a friend, when she see will also not say hi,how can I understand this ,I care for this children when their father left when they were babys is this what I get for 26years, please help me. massage overland park. You dont want to hurt his feelings, lose their trust or worse, and they will take you as a controlling parent. This is why so many mother and daughter-in-law relationships become estranged: a tug-of-war with an unhappy male in the middle of it all. Ever since then she barely talks to me and barely greets me. Here are some ideas to lighten the mood and make her feel welcome. Sometimes, mothers assume their children know they are loved but it is important to express it in words as well as actions. Thank YOU for posting. Their expectations of their daughter's fianc or husband will be very different from their expectations of her boyfriend. By the time he graduated (6 mos later), they spend almost every day together (entirely at her home since we wouldn't let them stay in the basement and "make-out" all the time. I have relived the last 1-1/2 years over and over in my mind. What's your favorite food? When she started dating Matt she lived with her aunt apparently did not see eye to eye with her mother and step father whom run a beautiful heifer farm and her mom is a school teacher. Another essential step you should consider is scheduling consistent family time. He sold the Camaro he had(that he owed money to his older brother for and used what he got for it to put more towards the new 2016 car he purchased for his girlfriends parents). What are their reasons? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); My Sons Girlfriend Is Manipulative 3 Ways To Cope, on My Sons Girlfriend Is Manipulative 3 Ways To Cope, 1. Going through serious life stuff. Your disapproval. I would always take my sons side and this caused a rift between ALL of us. NOW HE IS VERY ARROGANT AND DISRESPECTFUL. What she doesn't know won't hurt her, and so she can continue being the sweet, considerate future daughter-in-law and melt away your mother's disapproval with kindness in time. You kicked him out. I sent hours on my patio scraping the mildew off and letting it sit in the sun to kill off what I could. We asked our son what this was all about and I brought up several reasons including the possibility of her being pregnant. His Grandparents are elderly and it's unfair that they are having to go through this again. son's girlfriend doesn 't like his family A son is a son until he takes a wife is an apt saying. Scarlet and I do not speak. You don't have to start planning the wedding or be overly indulgent and supportive of the relationship but just warm, friendly and loving. He told her and then called me later to tell me that she was highly offended and never wanted me to do their laundry again and that all of that clothing belonged to her son. Most of the time when he plays basketball, the girl will always be there cheering for him. Son's girlfriend doesn't like me. If I were you, I would be humble enough to apologize to my son. She has told my son that she wants nothing to do with me and I am fine with this. My problem is a little different. She offers something that he wants on a physical, emotional or psychological level. Thank you. Am I in the wrong? I know you have concerns about your son getting into a serious relationship so young, but isn't your top priority your son's happiness? If you are together in 5 years when college is over great, but don't miss out on so much of your young lives. I felt like I was babysitting a 26 year old child. Only his. If you wait and hes in a bottomless pit in the relationship, it may take longer for him to listen to your concerns. They do not see many of their choices as being "bad" for them. And in our case, my son wouldn't go to counseling so we had to provide a little for him through our our heartfelt communication. He has not shared this information with me yet (only Dad supposedly knows). You might not like his decision. fintech startups internship; did jimi hendrix play at harlem cultural festival 1969? Parenting teenagers is not easy, but understanding the issues they struggle with can help everyone involved. Thanks very much! It is very hurtful, but I will continue to invite both of them to spend time with us. It's hard to talk to your adult child about his choice of mate because he will see it as yet another reason to protect her. While kids might seem honestly happy with their dating or personal lifestyle, as a parent, you can tell that they are in a controlling or abusive relationship. While I dont want to lose my son, I slso dont want to act like nothing ever happened by throwing out my beliefs and morals. He always say "no or I don't have girlfriend" whenever I ask him questions like that. Kids don't realize that hearts do mend. The first two weeks of uni he is already not making lectures & wants to defer; he is already aware he is failing and needs to quit. My son is mixed up with a true bitch! Why does it feel bad? Her parents welcome your son because she is an only child and it is like gaining a second child, a son they never had. Introducing your boyfriend to your parents is a nerve-wracking experience. We did not attack our son's former girlfriend but we only continually expressed our love for him. If she heartlessly uses your sons emotions to make him agree to her terms. But he might have found his life mate at an early age. Its normal for your adolescent boy to separate from his family. She made physical threats and destroyed any hope of acceptance again. He feels protective. For kids who have led the straight and narrow lifestyle for all their lives, the rebel or laid back lifestyle suddenly can feel liberating. I'm not in the position that I can feed him, her, her 2 stoner teens & young daughter. I have gone out of my way and bent over backwards but yet I cannot understand her personality. I am terrified that I won't know where my son is and what he's doing. How can I turn a blind eye to all that I know about this woman? Then she invited him to her house on the Sunday and I said no cos of the boundaries that I had put in place, telling both of them before hand, as I mentioned above. He is smart. Anything I say or do is considered wrong and I no longer know how to behave . There are a lot more resources for grandparents today. The woman has started expressing dislike for my three year old grandson. If your son contributes to your finances and you need his support, that is a different story. You had the right to deny access to your basement, but other than that, are you friendly or cordial to his girlfriend? You don't have to admit to anything you're NOT sorry for but do apologize for letting your anger and frustration get the best of you and do tell him that you regret ever telling him to move out. If she hasn't visited him, that is a clear sign--and should be to your son--about her loyalty. Do you think that you might have over-controlled your son? Kids, especially teens in their first relationship, may not recognize the signs of a toxic relationship. One must choose wisely, and there is an old adage to "go into marriage with both eyes open. He will defend her to others because he is the only one who "truly understands" that there is a sweet girl underneath the tough exterior. Plus, you have been a great financial help to your mother, and she might feel that you will be strapped if you also have to support your girlfriend, too. I told her the last time she disrespected me she was not welcome here any longer. "Her family might have been poor but this only gives her determination to help our family's finances." Get off to a good start by striking up friendly conversation and demonstrating your genuine desire to know her better. What kind of life is that? If you know he has always been respectful, thechange may be because he is trying to breakaway, MY SON HAS BEEN DATING A GIRL FOR SEVERAL MONTHS.SINCE HE HAS BEEN WITH HER HE HAS CHANGED SO MANY WAYS. Were you too harsh? Period. Always communicating and bonding with his siblings and grandparents. My sons girlfriend is always calling him names and is always angry. I even renovated her house and spent lots of money but now there is a problem when i support my girlfriend. Just love your son so he will never forsake you for anyone. Help! OK mamas, admit it: no one is good enough for your son. my sons girlfriend doesn t like me - jakzachowaczdrowie.pl We expressed that it wasn't that we didn't like this girl as a person and that we understood that everyone is "broken" in some wayand some people are worth fixingand that everyone deserves to be lovedbut this woman needs to fit into his life, his lifestyle, which includes his family. How long do these things last? Your son reacts negatively or flinches in her presence. So the more you attack her, the more he'll defend her. Sometimes, a seemingly "nice" kid will be attracted to a "bad" girl because she represents the side of him that he wishes he could express. I feel for you because sometimes it isn't our fault at all but what is going on in their own heads. Also, she was told that when my son leaves for work in the mornings, she must leave at the same time. Last night, my son invited his father and I to their wedding! She then throws it down and says she was not pregnant. She cussed me and called me horrible names. Our son too has had freedom to go out with curfews till 18. Then they had June exams, they are both in Matric and I had to start putting boundaries in place in which I told them that they can only see each other 1 day of the weekend until after exams. She won't bath him or put him in clean clothing and seems to be extremely harsh with him. We have asked he try to have a few days apart from her solely for his own mental health,self time for hobbies and study. She reached out to you to get to know you better and was met with suspicion and accusations. In fact, if you have been too controlling throughout his upbringing, expect that this will be a time for him to establish his own independence. My son's girlf friend will sleep over in his room. If she comes with serious emotional baggage, including mental or physical illness or addictions and he loves her enough to take her as is, you need to step aside and allow him to walk the life path he chooses. We have tried to talk with our son about what we felt in the beginning was just typical new mom depression or her being overwhelmed. Who is this unfamiliar creature that has attracted our sons attention? Never says hello, thank you, etc. My girlfriend (20F) doesn't like me(20M) taking her pictures. What to Do When Your Adult Children Don't Like You I guess what i am trying to tell you is don't do what i did and TELL him all the red flags you see. We have a 1 year old son together. I have been reading all the stories that you ladies have been posting. As time goes on, you can bring your girlfriend by too. Unfortunately, that was the beginning of his down fall. One day my husband came home from work and mentioned that he saw my son with the girl and his friends watching movie in the living room. I panicked and began to shout which only sent them both farther away. You've set down solid foundations for him, and he is branching out and experimenting with his freedom. It is like his new best friend is her 43 yr old father. I feel bad about my son lying to me of her. Try to treat him like the independent young man he has become. Hello, my situation is very hard and I truly feel like my son hates me at this point. But I believe he condoned her prostitution. I did go to the grandparent day breakfast at his headstart program and his hair was so stiff from not being washed and his clothing was filthy. she is very disrespectful called me a bitch to my face, has went off on me in my home, has called my husband a motherfucker to his face and has changed my son for the worse. I asked my son if there's something between him and the girl, but he said they're just friends. We moved to a different town to be closer to aging parents, and he continued to drive an hour and a half every day to see her (he would go after/before his job). If there is only one person he can trust in this world, it is his mother. Will she be good for him? If his girlfriend is prone to violence, she poses a risk to your son and any future children. There is a social hierarchy with a code of acceptance or rejection. So things are a bit strained to say the least. Remember, if you read my above comments, you'll understand what I mean when I say, "Call to the kitten." Things continued to worsen. He has never been pressured to study anything he does not want to - made his own choices & is supported in his hobbies & passions; which she is not really supporting as they take time from her. Because it isn't always breaking up with a horrible person or when there isn't any love left. Our son has been dating a girl for 1 year. I treated her like a daughter (I don't have a daughter). The McIlhenny family is . Because we only have his best interests at heart. son's girlfriend doesn 't like his family My father passed away the day before Mother's day . But those first loves are the hardest to get over.
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